Being in debt is one of the most causing reasons for divorce. And it makes totally sense. Many people love on more then they make and debt is the short term answer to this problem. However, the relationship will fall apart. I have observed that in my own marriage. When we were totally broke, in debt, often didn’t know where to get the next months money in order to pay our bills fights started to occur on a constant basis. And I can blame us for it. A woman needs security, financially, eomotionally, physically etc. Men can live with money stress some time. We are made to sustain such pressure but for women its just hell. They don’t know what their future will be, they can’t really focus on the things that they want to focus on in the house, the family, the husband etc.
Thank God we are debt free and it was only possible because we found out about a guy names Dave Ramsey. A financial wizzard, expert you name it. He calls his method the ‘Baby Steps’.
They go as follows:
1. Save up an emergency fond of a $1,000. That will calm you and especially your stressed wife down. Put this into a checking account and don’t touch it except for really tough emergencies
2. List your debt smallest to largest and attack the smallest one with gazelle intensity. Don’t try to be smart and list the ones with the highest interest rate first. Its not a numbers game. If it would you wouldn’t be in debt. Its all about behavior and seeing results. So, to pay back a small amount is easier and gets you fast gratification and motivation
3. After you paid back ALL of your debt, build your emergency fond of 3-6 months of expenses. Once this is done you feel free and you make much calmer decisions.
4. Save for your house.
5. Save 15% of your take home pay for your retirement and 15% for college if you have kids.
6. Pay off your mortgage (if you have one).
This is very simplified here. For more go to www.DaveRamsey.com and check out his books. I promise it works. We have done it and now this aspect is gone to threaten our marriage.
Lastly. What I want to help you with is to take out all the unnecissary noise that every relationship has. Wether its from past experience, how we grew up, money issues etc. The more we clean up our own lives the quicker we get results and know what we need to work on instead of running like a chicken without a head.
Let me know about how your experience has been with the money and debt issue.